I'm Back

Alright!  After eating like a decadent Roman emperor for the last couple of months, I am back on track.  It is times like these that I am grateful I work at a gym.  Yes, I ate like crazy, but I also worked out pretty regularly, so the damage wasn't too bad.  After two weeks of dedication, I've managed to undo two months worth of bad eating habits. Win.

How did this even happen in the first place?  There are a few likely suspects:

• Anxiety - I, like many people, have the urge to eat when I feel intense emotions, especially negative ones.  I had been planning to up heave my current life and move overseas with a friend for a while.  Exciting!  Scary!  Emotional!  Nerve-racking as shit!  I'm gonna eat some stuff!  However, plans fell through which leads to...

• Depression - Not going to bum everyone out (including myself) by going in-depth into this, but late last year/early this year I experienced my first bout of depression.  Real depression.  Like, going to a therapist for the first time ever and talking to a doctor about pills depression.  I'm a millions times better than I was, but when things fall apart (see above), the depression is still so fresh I kind of get catapulted back into it for a while.  And when that happens, what do I do?  I eat ice cream, because it's fucking delicious and I want to treat myself to some quick and easy happiness.

• Work - I work at a gym, but I also work at a coffee shop.  This coffee shop is filled with all sorts of unreasonably sugary drinks, as well as pastries, bagels, grilled sandwiches, etc., all of which I am allowed to eat an unlimited amount of for free while I'm working.  I work there every weekday, which means 5 days a week, I have to look ham & cheese croissants in the face and try to say 'no'. 

• Money - I've recently paid off some debt, and am finally in better financial standing than I have been in a long time.  I had been avoiding restaurants like the plague trying to cut out unnecessary spending, but the second my money concerns started to fade I got super excited about food I didn't have to make and started dining out again.

• Friends - I hear people saying all the time that having a weight loss buddy increases your chances of success.  Well, the opposite is also true.  Having friends that aren't actively trying to live healthfully, or who don't understand what good choices consist of can really throw you off.  I can't tell you how many times in the last few months I've had friends invite me to restaurants, parties, pub crawls, or even just over to their house for dinner.  The social aspect is great, but folks don't usually serve low-fat, low-calorie, portion controlled meals for their gatherings.

I'm hoping (as I always do) that this will be that last time I fall off the wagon quite so hard.  It probably won't be, but as long as I keep picking myself up and trying again, I think I'll be alright.